French, by the way
︎︎︎ James Donald Forbes McCann
︎ Aug 4, 2026
Foreigners skateboarding
On the World War One memorial.
They keep falling off of their skateboards;
They are not good at skateboarding.
They fall over, over and over again.
They're not making meaningful progress
In the skateboard video they're making.
They are going to lose the light.
Something about it has something to do
With World War One, somehow.
Something about wasted youth
And the end of civilization.
I am thinking of calling the police,
I am experiencing xenophobia.
They desecrate our sweet memorial
And I want them executed, of course
If they were better at skateboarding
I would love them, love these foreigners.
If they were better at skateboarding
I would dynamite the war memorial.
I would get blood on my hands
In the name of whatever cause they wanted,
I would make myself an ISIS bride
If they'd have me, pretty please.
On the World War One memorial.
They keep falling off of their skateboards;
They are not good at skateboarding.
They fall over, over and over again.
They're not making meaningful progress
In the skateboard video they're making.
They are going to lose the light.
Something about it has something to do
With World War One, somehow.
Something about wasted youth
And the end of civilization.
I am thinking of calling the police,
I am experiencing xenophobia.
They desecrate our sweet memorial
And I want them executed, of course
If they were better at skateboarding
I would love them, love these foreigners.
If they were better at skateboarding
I would dynamite the war memorial.
I would get blood on my hands
In the name of whatever cause they wanted,
I would make myself an ISIS bride
If they'd have me, pretty please.
James Donald Forbes McCann is a stand-up comedian.
Also by James: Feudalism with American Characteristics
Also by James: Feudalism with American Characteristics