Poem Written at Girl Scout Camp
︎︎︎ Andrew Weatherhead
︎ Mar 10, 2026
I have to check for ticks
Or I may get Bell’s Palsy, like Ellen
And half my face will be paralyzed
After swimming, I check for leeches—
They don’t live in the deep water off the pier
But still…
All the den leaders are men
And they try to be mean
But they don’t really know how
Like, Kaitlyn got stung by a wasp
And they let her use her cell phone
Now everyone’s trying to get stung by wasps
I just want to be pretty and strong and a little mean
Like a girl I saw
On the side of the road once
Dr. LaChapelle gives us two $2 bills for allowance each morning
And Thomas Jefferson, on the front
Looks as bored as I am
The vending machines don’t take $2 bills
So Kaylee sold one of hers for three $1 dollar bills
To a dumb girl from Naperville
Then Kaylee lost her earring in the lake
And I had a dream it landed on a leech
And pinned itself to its nasty ribbed head section
And when I told Evelyn about my dream at breakfast
Milk squirted out of her nose
And they took her away
Or I may get Bell’s Palsy, like Ellen
And half my face will be paralyzed
After swimming, I check for leeches—
They don’t live in the deep water off the pier
But still…
All the den leaders are men
And they try to be mean
But they don’t really know how
Like, Kaitlyn got stung by a wasp
And they let her use her cell phone
Now everyone’s trying to get stung by wasps
I just want to be pretty and strong and a little mean
Like a girl I saw
On the side of the road once
Dr. LaChapelle gives us two $2 bills for allowance each morning
And Thomas Jefferson, on the front
Looks as bored as I am
The vending machines don’t take $2 bills
So Kaylee sold one of hers for three $1 dollar bills
To a dumb girl from Naperville
Then Kaylee lost her earring in the lake
And I had a dream it landed on a leech
And pinned itself to its nasty ribbed head section
And when I told Evelyn about my dream at breakfast
Milk squirted out of her nose
And they took her away
Andrew Weatherhead is a writer and artist based in Glens Falls, New York.