Knowitall
︎︎︎ Pierre Minar
︎ Jan 7, 2026
Bluetooth technology is named for a Viking
George Washington told dirty jokes about avocados
“Alligator pears,” he called them
He wasn’t as tall as you think
A Viking named Halfdan carved his name in Constantinople in 1100 AD
George Washington was gifted at the organized retreat
which should be impressive to you
because most soldiers
die during the rout, once their wills sap
Every moment counts
Like the moment when your phone call vanished:
Ignition then Bluetooth spindles carving your name—
Look closely at Adam’s finger
He’s holding back a little
Either that or we’re seeing
the Big Bang moments after
God finishes up in the kitchen
****
My friends all laughed
when I told them the surface of the sun
was not very hot
“It’s closer to your oven than you think,” I said;
They mocked me
not like the soldiers mocked Jesus
but closer than you think
“How hot?” they asked
Before I tell you
what I said,
form a number
in your head
How many zeros?
Could it bake bread?
How hot is too hot
before you are dead?
“I think like 2000 degrees”
Someone’s Bluetooth fingers cross
carnation sky to Siri
on the kitchen island
She says the surface of the sun is 10,000 degrees
“Wrong wrong wrong” these gargoyles,
my friends, snarled, sour grape skins
in their wolf teeth
“Fine fine fine,” I say, unfazed at my error
my point is not about numbers
it’s about the gulf between
the sun’s surface and core
(I’m trying to paint life precise
My cosmology grows
when I remember to listen
instead of waiting
for my turn to talk)
So they query the robot again
Officious, demanding she
serve warm schadenfreude,
which Wikipedia tells us is a “loan word”
from German, as if English might
give it back one day
The core of the sun is twelve million degrees, she says;
A stupid, meaningless number
Go ahead, take the robot’s side
I fight for the living
So I said we have so much more
than George Washington, who married
for money (I’m changing the subject)
I’m not good with numbers
We carve our name deeper than a Viking in marble
We can move faster than they ever could
though our retreat
will not be well-organized
because we are all so impatient
to hear the filthy punchline
George Washington told dirty jokes about avocados
“Alligator pears,” he called them
He wasn’t as tall as you think
A Viking named Halfdan carved his name in Constantinople in 1100 AD
George Washington was gifted at the organized retreat
which should be impressive to you
because most soldiers
die during the rout, once their wills sap
Every moment counts
Like the moment when your phone call vanished:
Ignition then Bluetooth spindles carving your name—
Look closely at Adam’s finger
He’s holding back a little
Either that or we’re seeing
the Big Bang moments after
God finishes up in the kitchen
****
My friends all laughed
when I told them the surface of the sun
was not very hot
“It’s closer to your oven than you think,” I said;
They mocked me
not like the soldiers mocked Jesus
but closer than you think
“How hot?” they asked
Before I tell you
what I said,
form a number
in your head
How many zeros?
Could it bake bread?
How hot is too hot
before you are dead?
“I think like 2000 degrees”
Someone’s Bluetooth fingers cross
carnation sky to Siri
on the kitchen island
She says the surface of the sun is 10,000 degrees
“Wrong wrong wrong” these gargoyles,
my friends, snarled, sour grape skins
in their wolf teeth
“Fine fine fine,” I say, unfazed at my error
my point is not about numbers
it’s about the gulf between
the sun’s surface and core
(I’m trying to paint life precise
My cosmology grows
when I remember to listen
instead of waiting
for my turn to talk)
So they query the robot again
Officious, demanding she
serve warm schadenfreude,
which Wikipedia tells us is a “loan word”
from German, as if English might
give it back one day
The core of the sun is twelve million degrees, she says;
A stupid, meaningless number
Go ahead, take the robot’s side
I fight for the living
So I said we have so much more
than George Washington, who married
for money (I’m changing the subject)
I’m not good with numbers
We carve our name deeper than a Viking in marble
We can move faster than they ever could
though our retreat
will not be well-organized
because we are all so impatient
to hear the filthy punchline