& I thought 7 years was a long time
︎︎︎ Jason Emde
︎ April 22, 2021
shoulda mastered
money
& rain by now but
after tomorrow’s tomorrow’s tomorrow
something is old
all started with students
flinging finger-hearts
what I remember
when I remember
thumb & index together & raised
& say kyun desu
“the sound of your heart”
beating lush in the chest
drove me home her car her
white shirt the ice
when I remember
something is old
dim-eyed in a dark
her white shirt in the dark
freight a finger with heart-fall
send it nearer also back
towards her gift
a freshening a feel thing
when lush was the word
& flop was the colour
my old fingers now
going kyun in the hallway
girls the same age
as when lush was the word
white shirt in the dark
a free feel thing
when my fingers could summon
a lushness & damp
heartbound & how
to remember remember
my fangs
in the dark rushing to linger
the small hearts I made
with this & that finger
& rain by now but
after tomorrow’s tomorrow’s tomorrow
something is old
all started with students
flinging finger-hearts
what I remember
when I remember
thumb & index together & raised
& say kyun desu
“the sound of your heart”
beating lush in the chest
drove me home her car her
white shirt the ice
when I remember
something is old
dim-eyed in a dark
her white shirt in the dark
freight a finger with heart-fall
send it nearer also back
towards her gift
a freshening a feel thing
when lush was the word
& flop was the colour
my old fingers now
going kyun in the hallway
girls the same age
as when lush was the word
white shirt in the dark
a free feel thing
when my fingers could summon
a lushness & damp
heartbound & how
to remember remember
my fangs
in the dark rushing to linger
the small hearts I made
with this & that finger
Jason Emde is a teacher, writer, undefeated amateur boxer, MFA Creative Writing Program candidate at UBC, and the author of My Hand’s Tired and My Heart Aches (Kalamalka Press, 2005). Focused on roving, expatriation, pilgrimage, loss, and sensual derangement, his work has appeared in Real Travel, The Malahat Review, Soliloquies Anthology, The Watershed Review, and numerous other publications. Jason lives in Japan with his wife, Maho, and their typhoon sons, Joe and Sasha.