& I thought 7 years was a long time


︎︎︎ Jason Emde

︎ April 22, 2021


shoulda mastered money             
& rain by now      but


after tomorrow’s tomorrow’s tomorrow
something is old


all started with students
flinging finger-hearts


what I remember
when I remember


thumb & index together      & raised
& say kyun desu


“the sound of your heart”
beating lush in the chest


drove me home her car her
white shirt the ice


when I remember
something is old


dim-eyed in a dark
her white shirt in the dark


freight a finger with heart-fall
send it nearer      also back


towards her gift
a freshening      a feel thing


when lush was the word
& flop was the colour


my old fingers now
going kyun in the hallway


girls the same age
as when lush was the word


white shirt in the dark
a free feel thing


when my fingers could summon
a lushness & damp


heartbound & how
to remember      remember


my fangs
in the dark      rushing to linger


the small hearts I made
      with this & that finger













































































Jason Emde is a teacher, writer, undefeated amateur boxer, MFA Creative Writing Program candidate at UBC, and the author of My Hand’s Tired and My Heart Aches (Kalamalka Press, 2005). Focused on roving, expatriation, pilgrimage, loss, and sensual derangement, his work has appeared in Real Travel, The Malahat Review, Soliloquies Anthology, The Watershed Review, and numerous other publications. Jason lives in Japan with his wife, Maho, and their typhoon sons, Joe and Sasha.