Greco-Roman Cancel Culture

︎︎︎ Jordan Raf

︎ August 31, 2022

Atlas shrugged because Icarus flew too close to the sun and when he fell to his death right next to Orpheus who was down in Hades he looked back at Eurydice which fucked everything up so then Socrates asked “why?” Diogenes replied “who cares” from his barrel but then he got stolen by some pirates Dionysus drank a bunch of wine from that barrel now that it was empty and went and groped Athena who was just a fly buzzing around in Zeus’(her dad’s) head a little bit ago before Hephaestus came and cracked open the king’s skull with this giant hammer not knowing the first girlboss would come out of it Achilles ran over to help but sprained his ankle on the way Hermes has wings on his which really could have helped Hera was busy keeping the hearth while Prometheus was stealing a fire of his own which everyone really didn’t like so he got tied to a rock where eagles slowly picked away at his liver then Heracles came and rescued him we know him as Hercules but you are allowed to call him both just don’t stare at Medusa’s head too long without a mirror or at least that’s what Perseus says the guy who rides that horse with the wings but no one knows if it(Pegasus) ever gave him consent to Pan doesn’t really care though he’ll fuck anything that moves he’s in the forest blowing on his little flute however he died when Christ was born and we all know the rest from there.

Jordan Raf
is a musician, actor, and writer currently living in New York, NY.