Charlie Sheen

---

︎︎︎ Rebecca Warlick Cooke

---

︎ Nov 22, 2025

---

I. You heretic washed up piglet

They don’t tell you the chair
is already broken
and you will have to find
somewhere else to sit
and they will laugh
as they walk away

II. You despicable charlatan

Maker of unsafe spaces
You built the structure
out of hedges
Hollow and filled with spiders
Your gazebo is on fire
And like all greats
You are deathly afraid
of words
Knock on wood—
Hi you creepy bitch

III. You kallyvinik leaky diaper

With vividness of bodies
My ancestry dead
Yours incensed
My man who moans
every time I ask him
to pick up something from the store
He doesn't like my company
Yet made me the gatekeeper
of wasted time anyway
My despacito
hanging from a noose
of European manners

IV. You evil terrorist

You think you can make it better
With a carnivorous plant
and a chocolate bar
My shallow heart's basket
spills for you its rotten bounty
Weeks when you only checked on me once
All I want is death at your hands

V. You sack of landfill trash

Long forearms and white shoulders
my lover thinks I'm a godchild
Who might teach him a lesson
so I must remain unsolvable
My life is stupid
I’m married
I relapse in front of you
You say I hope you enjoy
making our daughter retarded
My laugh echoes
on the baby monitor

VII. Winning

I will be supine and elegant
I am any animal
at the drink hole
my nature
is to drink my fill
Other pearlescent creatures reflect
Their eyes flit allover
So not jealous
Take your fill
but don’t fall in
There is nothing but drownings
down here
Another one
Last time
This year
One says
I hate November